A couple of friends of mine Holly G.; http://rockintheboat.bravejournal.com and ShadowBear C.; http://that-loony-yid.blogspot.com have each posted comments on their blogs with regards to what I have been discussing on mine.
And while they both agree something needs to be done to curb/stop all forms of abuse (child/spousal/sexual/emotional), we still find a problem. They agree there should be parenting classes, as do I.
However, that is where the agreement stops. While I have proposed some sort of testing program to help not necessarily weed out the prospective parents who are found to be a high risk to abuse their children, but to find a solution before they and their children or spouse become another statistic, both Holly and ShadowBear have opposed that.
Which leaves me wondering how many more innocent victims of abuse must suffer before society as a whole says "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH." By choosing to remain with our heads buried in the sand and figure it is someone else's problem to deal with, IMHO I feel we are no better than Hitler's Elite SS Troops who were responsible for depriving the Jewish population of the right to live during the Holocaust, or the Serbians who murdered Muslim Men and Boys during their war in Bosnia or the Hutu's in Rwanda or the guerillas responsible for the mess in Darfur, Sudan.
Watching a two-part episode with Nobel Prize winning author Elie Wiesel on Oprah, (yesterday and today), I am struck by a very ironic statement that was made at the liberation of the concentration camp known as Auschwitz-Birkenau. The liberators and the governments of the day all said "Never again should something like the Holocaust be allowed to happen." Unfortunately Abusive relationships are still being allowed to happen just like the various groups doing ethnic cleanising are still at it. Women and children are being systemically beaten, tortured and in some cases starved to death, while society as a whole sits back and wrings its collective hands and says "What can we do to change it?"
Until we dig our heads out of the sand and say "ENOUGH!!!" and start talking and taking back the power from the abusers, nothing will be accomplished, except for a lot more hand wringing, and a lot more potential from the young people (children) lost forever.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Monday, May 22, 2006
Exactly what I wanted
A friend left a comment on my blog yesterday. What he wanted to say how ever was too long to put in so he used his blog and then linked it through the comment section. His opinion is assisting me to achieve exactly what I wanted, a dialogue about how to defeat abuse once and for all.
My intention in my post yesterday and tonight's one is to get people talking and make them aware of the tell tale signs of abuse. The more we as a society take a stand and fight back, the less power the abusers have.
Having read it, I can understand where some people might have the idea that the plan I am proposing may result in the loss of a future Dr. Stephen Hawking or Ludwig Von Beethoven.
How do we as a society know that we have not lost them already with the deaths of children, abused and neglected each year.
I also note that what I am proposing is rather a drastic step, however I see no other way to stop the cycle of abuse than trying to come up with a workable solution.
So using my suggestion about a pre-screening test for all prospective parents and take it one step further. You have a couple newly married and wanting to start a family. The test is administered and low and behold, there's a problem. The bride's results indicate she might harm her child either before it is born or after, the test's can't narrow down the field.
Pretending to be this lady's OB-GYN, I would sit both prospective parents down in my office, explain the test results and then with cooperation from both prospective parents, come up with a plan that would enable not only the prospective mother, but teach the prospective father the warning signs to look for. And then in 6 months (minimum) to 1 year (maximum), let them retake the test and if they both pass recommend them as being suitable for parenthood.
I guess what I am trying to say is this, there are no reasons on earth for people who wish to become parents as long as the few who may inadvertently tar and feather that group are helped and given the life skills they need to stop the cycle of abuse, once and for all.
My intention in my post yesterday and tonight's one is to get people talking and make them aware of the tell tale signs of abuse. The more we as a society take a stand and fight back, the less power the abusers have.
Having read it, I can understand where some people might have the idea that the plan I am proposing may result in the loss of a future Dr. Stephen Hawking or Ludwig Von Beethoven.
How do we as a society know that we have not lost them already with the deaths of children, abused and neglected each year.
I also note that what I am proposing is rather a drastic step, however I see no other way to stop the cycle of abuse than trying to come up with a workable solution.
So using my suggestion about a pre-screening test for all prospective parents and take it one step further. You have a couple newly married and wanting to start a family. The test is administered and low and behold, there's a problem. The bride's results indicate she might harm her child either before it is born or after, the test's can't narrow down the field.
Pretending to be this lady's OB-GYN, I would sit both prospective parents down in my office, explain the test results and then with cooperation from both prospective parents, come up with a plan that would enable not only the prospective mother, but teach the prospective father the warning signs to look for. And then in 6 months (minimum) to 1 year (maximum), let them retake the test and if they both pass recommend them as being suitable for parenthood.
I guess what I am trying to say is this, there are no reasons on earth for people who wish to become parents as long as the few who may inadvertently tar and feather that group are helped and given the life skills they need to stop the cycle of abuse, once and for all.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Why????
This is something I will never understand. Men and women of all races and faiths fall in love, get married and decide to have children. Then for whatever reason, husbands beat up wives, wives beat husbands (in certain cases). But the most despicable act of all is when parents (either both together or single parents) deny young children the basic neccessities of life; beat the crap out of older children and in some cases, because the children have chosen to defy the parents on something, the children are killed, even though those children are now full grown adults. Or the parents are going through a messy divorce and one parent to spite the other, kills the children and then himself/herself.
Oh yes it happens. Think Susan Smith, Andrea Yates in the US. And in the countries of India and Pakistan with the practice of arranged marriages, it happens more than we in the West ever know. And we call ourselves a civilized society. What's so civilized about killing off the next generation of people.
And the judicial system lets parents off by saying they are mentally ill. Give me a break. If they were so mentally ill, why didn't someone stop them from becoming parents in the first place. And that's what society needs to do, figure out a way to stop or at least teach those adults who wish to become parents what that job entails.
I mean come on, we have medical tests which will tell us the sex of the unborn baby; whether that unborn baby has a serious medical condition that requires immediate medical intervention. Why are there no policies in place for spotting people who might be dangerous as parents. We owe it to ourselves and the generations that follow to find this cure for abuse and nip it in the bud.
And in the Muslim community, we need to teach that just because a child wants to choose his/her own partner (yes the killing does apply to male children in the Muslim world as well), doesn't mean that they are a disgrace or a disappointment to the family. Rather it should signal a new beginning. A 21st century beginning. Arranged marriages should be made illegal. We in the Western World are allowed to choose who we fall in love with and marry. Shouldn't everybody have that choice.
All we as a so-called civilized society are doing is perpetuating the acceptance of child abuse, and murder. Because no matter what age we are, we are still the children of the people who conceived us and brought us into this world.
More on this in the days to come
Oh yes it happens. Think Susan Smith, Andrea Yates in the US. And in the countries of India and Pakistan with the practice of arranged marriages, it happens more than we in the West ever know. And we call ourselves a civilized society. What's so civilized about killing off the next generation of people.
And the judicial system lets parents off by saying they are mentally ill. Give me a break. If they were so mentally ill, why didn't someone stop them from becoming parents in the first place. And that's what society needs to do, figure out a way to stop or at least teach those adults who wish to become parents what that job entails.
I mean come on, we have medical tests which will tell us the sex of the unborn baby; whether that unborn baby has a serious medical condition that requires immediate medical intervention. Why are there no policies in place for spotting people who might be dangerous as parents. We owe it to ourselves and the generations that follow to find this cure for abuse and nip it in the bud.
And in the Muslim community, we need to teach that just because a child wants to choose his/her own partner (yes the killing does apply to male children in the Muslim world as well), doesn't mean that they are a disgrace or a disappointment to the family. Rather it should signal a new beginning. A 21st century beginning. Arranged marriages should be made illegal. We in the Western World are allowed to choose who we fall in love with and marry. Shouldn't everybody have that choice.
All we as a so-called civilized society are doing is perpetuating the acceptance of child abuse, and murder. Because no matter what age we are, we are still the children of the people who conceived us and brought us into this world.
More on this in the days to come
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