My dear friend SB...

has pointed out something that I didn't realize I was doing. Instead of being gender neutral in my postings, I tended to leave an impression that only members of the male sex were abusers.

That was never my intention and I do apologize for those statements. My intention was to show that both men and women can be abusers/just as both can be involved in abusive relationships.

While fathers/males get the rap for most cases of physical abuse, mothers are just as bad. However it seems that the justice system tends to find excuses to justify the females abusive tendencies (post-partum depression; depression; and any other forms of mental illness you can find.

Also while males tend to be more physically abusive, females and mothers are more emotionally abusive (you're not worthy; you'll never amount to anything; etc). And those are just the common phrases they use.

In my case, my Mother abandoned her parental responsibilities a year after I was born (she and my Father were divorced---she got custody; he never even had visitation rights). I was raised and nutured in a loving home by my Maternal Grandparents, however I still feel the sting of that abandonment all these years later.

That's why we need Parenting classes to start as early as possible and for all new Mothers, they need some sort of caregiver just after they get home from the hospital, someone who, although she is helping the new Mom adjust is also the Children's advocate, having been professionally trained to watch for signs of post-partum depression. And if a case occurs, help the new Mom to realize what's going on and what she can do to control/stop it, but at the same time protect the kids (remember Andrea Yates).

The other part of my idea, SB disagrees with is allowing police to investigate alleged incidents of abuse just on the word of a neighbor. I can see what he is getting at. For example, Neighbor A and his wife love the current arrangement of the block (no kids allowed or so they think), when all of a sudden, right next door Neighbor B moves in with 6 bratty kids all under the age of 6 years. So as way to get rid of Neighbor B, Neighbor A goes to the police and says (I think my next door neighbor is abusing his/her kids). So the police arrest Neighbor B based on that suspicion.

Here's the solution to that dilema. I don't know about the laws in Sweden, SB, but here in Canada, if it turns out Neighbor A was wrong about what Neighbor B was doing to his/her kids, then Neighbor A can face criminal charges such as criminal mischief, filing a false police report, not to mention the possibility that Neighbor B, could file a civil lawsuit against Neighbor A for defamation of character.

So IMHO if someone came across a case of child/spousal abuse and reported it, they are going to be sure of their facts based on what could happen to them if they're wrong.

To be continued, and added to in terms of elder abuse